Starting a journal or list of ideas for your vows is a great way to build them over time. Keeping up with special memories and sweet sentiments will help your vows encompass your whole relationship leading up to the wedding day, as well as your future together. You wouldn’t wait until the last minute to plan your floral design or pick your dress, so give your vows the same importance.
Even though you may feel like you and your soulmate are the only people in the room, your friends and family are watching the ceremony too! To make sure this personal part of your ceremony runs smoothly, it’s important to have a conversation with your partner about the tone, format, and time for your vows. Coming up with a composition for your vows keeps everything cohesive while also making it easier for you to write. Are you trying to make your guests laugh, or do you envision a more serious take on the tradition? Will you vow, promise, or pledge your love, for better or worse? Even if you want your vows to be a surprise on the big day, agreeing on key elements of your vows will ensure that your words have the attention they deserve.
Some vows are cliché for a reason: I vow to always be supportive, I vow to always be your best friend, I vow to always take care of you when you are sick. These general ideas are significant sentiments to express. However, this day is special because it’s yours, so be sure to balance the customary vows with more personal promises you want to make to your partner. Whether you pledge to not complain about dirty socks or to always ask how their day was after work depends on what is meaningful to your unique relationship.
Some couples choose to memorize their vows, while others read them, but you should feel comfortable articulating them either way. Practice reciting your vows in front of your mirror, your maid of honor, or your mom so that your promises can be heard loud and clear during your ceremony.
Ultimately, sharing what’s true for you and your partner will be the most beautiful thing, so don’t worry about making your vows sound like someone else wrote them. Your wedding is a celebration of who you are as a couple, and there’s nothing more beautiful than that.